Curiosity is what keeps me sane!
Its been a while since I wrote anything here. Not that there was any demand for it! It has been a rough year so far, which was not anticipated. I didn’t see it coming because I was biased against certain variables while I calculated. Yes, I usually calculate everything, I am weird like that. One day I hope to go to calculator heaven! Laughs in Sheldon Cooper
What happened you wonder? I am gonna leave the first half for another time, I’ll tell you the second half. I failed. I failed 3 exams back to back. It was nothing new for me, I have failed in a lot of things before. Each time I did learning something. For instance, I learned that I need to unplug the TV before I opened it up and put my hands inside to not get an electric shock. Its common sense, but I was 10 and I had to catch the latest episode of Justice League Unlimited, Or that I shouldn’t dismantle a TV if I can’t put it back together. I was still 10 But this time it is different because the cause was not clear and so was the lesson.
For a while I was losing my mind. No thoughts, no dreams, no productivity, can’t focus. My dreams are awesome, I am either floating in space or jumping from planet to planet in the solar system. But it was only anxiety all day everyday, and some masked person chasing me in the ‘short dust’ map from counter strike while I sleep. (I still haven’t figured that one out, Ill let you know when I do!) But I know me, and I know my psyche. Once I got a grip on being anxious and still think for myself, I planned a routine to find my way back to sanity. “My sanity”. Not the normal sanity where most people always are. My sanity is kinda weird and I like it. It was extremely hard this time because here in Sweden, during summer, the sky is always lit. Not the kinda lit sky I prefer. I prefer the sky lit with stars and moon and meteors and satellites… So, I had no way to zone out and do my usual thing. Check my Portal post to know what my Usual thing is.
The plan was to learn something new everyday and read the books from my list. I knew this was going to work. Because, I learn almost always by asking questions. Even if I don’t always find the answers, I like the journey it takes me on. And for the times I find answers, I am fascinated, sometimes disappointed and a lot of times I go into the rabbit hole of and then what happens? And that is what keeps me sane, that curiosity! The adventure that takes me on, sometimes into the physical world, mostly inside my head.
So, I started the next day by starting to read a book called “The Rise of Superman” by Steven Kotler. It was on my list for about 10 months by then. The book was focused on Decoding the ultimate human performance as the cover reads. And then, I started learning the basics cell biology for no apparent reason on the same day. This continued for about 6 weeks. I will try to compile a list of books I read and topics I learned about below.
BOOKS
- The Rise of Superman by Steven kotler
- Stealing fire by Steven Kotler, Jamie Wheal
- Cosmos by Carl Sagan for the 4th time
- Surely You’re Joking Mr. Feynman for the second time
- Letters to a young scientist by Edward O Wilson (Audio)
- Astrophysics for People in a Hurry by Neil Tyson for the second time
- Every tool is a Hammer by Adam Savage (Audiobook)
- What If by Randall Munroe (Currently reading)
- Human Universe By Brian Cox (Reading second time)
THINGS I LEARNED ABOUT
- Basics of Cell Biology
- Basics of Music Theory (Continued)
- Camouflage in the Animal Kingdom
- Moon rocks
- Deep time
- How much is 200 Calories in different foods.
- The science of stone skipping (There are papers published about this! Woah!)
- Rogue waves
- etc.
These things may seem random or seem like they have a theme to it. It really doesn’t matter because It worked like I said It would! Every successive day I got up and got to work on these, the inner nerd was waking up stronger. And now I am back to my weird (in)sane bubble.
Along with these I also went running in the woods and swimming in the lake whenever I felt like going and I am going to do so until the winter strikes down. But the good thing about winter, the Stars will be back and twinkling!
This experience was quite a journey as I was hoping to make this year better than last year which was fun. Even though almost three quarters of it is over, there is still time for wonders or blunders to happen. But one thing is for sure, no matter what happens, doing the things that actually give me little explosions of wonder and awe will be my WiFi to connect to the universe. This reminds me of a quote by Howard Thurman a philosopher among many other things and I quote
Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
—Howard Thurman
Go Do It!
Okay Bye! :)